What is Counseling and How to Use It

For the last four years I have been studying to become a counselor. During this time I have come to appreciate what a powerful thing counseling is. However as I have been working with people who are new clients, I have realised that most people don't know what counseling is.
What counseling is NOT is advice giving. The counselor isn't supposed to tell anyone how to live thier life.
Counseling is a co-operation beween two people, where one listens and the other tells of their life, their pain, thier struggles and confusion. By listening intently the skilled counselor can reflect back to the client any apparent confusion or incongruence. For example, the client is saying that they really don't care that somebody has hurt them whilst the body language is slumped or tense. The body language is telling a different story.
Often the client is engaging in negative thinking and the same self limiting scripts go round and round their heads. If they tell themself they are useless/hopeless/ugly/a loser etc etc often enough they come to believe it. The counselor can reflect this habitual negative thinking back so that the client becomes aware of harmful patterns of thinking.
Sometimes it is as simple as just being there to listen to something that nobody else would. Many people feel they have to put on a brave face or they simply don't have anyone to tell their stuff to. The counsellor offers a safe, confidential and non judgemental place where any feelings can be explored.
By lifting up feelings into the light they can be safely explored and then the charge of pain is released allowing healing to take place.